A love note to the 203 moms

A Moment of Gratitude and Connection

 

I'm confident maybe 10% of the group may get down to this part of the email and that's ok. The following is probably more cathartic than anything. But for those who read this, I hope it makes you feel a bit more seen and comforted that you are not alone.

 

I'll be totally honest. I was about to throw my hands up a few weeks ago and shut everything down (you know, the good ole millennial mom stressors of trying to juggle work, momming, organizing events for our group, eating my daily servings of veggies, exercising, doing red light masks 10 minutes a day, yada yada yada ).  Well, last week our new Planning Committee had its first meeting and I wanted to share some of the things I heard across the board because it left me feeling like "it filled my bucket" with a renewed inspiration to keep going.

• Whether you grew up here or are totally new to the area, it can feel so extremely isolating so much of the time. You can be surrounded by other individuals, even have lots of acquaintances, but feel totally lonely.

• It feels like there are so few mechanisms set in place to help us build connections. Picture this: You're at the YMCA toddler gym surrounded by other moms who seem to all know each other and there you are standing alone with your kid. But how are you meant to meet other moms with a kid hanging off your pant leg screaming? And then you leave feeling even more alone. Yep. That sucks.

• We were raised thinking there would be a village to help us raise our children together. What happened to that village? Did that end with the Boomers? Or is my village just not found yet? Will I ever find my village?

• It's so scary to be an inviter. Sometimes it feels like all you do is invite and nothing comes back. One individual said it took years for it to start coming back as invitations for her to hang out. Doesn't that just feel exhausting? Ps. check this post one of the members sent me. Well, isn't this the most ON POINT thing I've ever read...

• Social media is ruining us. We might constantly feel left out when we see other moms doing playdates without us. Constantly feel like we are not doing enough. Constantly feel like we are not living up to various standards, be they physical appearance or an Instagram-worthy house. This is especially felt in such an affluent area. Personally, Instagram does nothing but give me FOMO and then wonder, "what is wrong with me??". 

• Coming to one of our dinners for the first time was like ANXIETY overload. Yes, even me, every time. Whenever a dinner comes around, I go through 90 minutes of "I don't wanna go!!".  And then my husband kindly reminds me that whenever I come home I say "I would have regretted missing that."  

• The moms who are coming to our dinners are showing up with their hearts open. They're coming for the same reason you are. Even if you don't leave with a best friend, you've left with the chance to commiserate over toddler tantrums, newborn struggles, or just make a connection that you can wave "hi" to at the playground.  There are now over 170 of us in this group. I promise you, there is at least one mom soulmate in here.

• Oh, and also, ALL of the Dads think we are nuts to go to dinner with people we don't know and yet they are super jealous and resonate with the statement "Please go off and make friends for me too" haha.

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I hope if you read this, you feel a bit more confident that when you come to one of our events, you're sitting down with a group of women who share so many of the same emotions and desires you may be feeling as a mom. Especially for those of you who are just lurking in the WhatsApp (yes, totally okay to be a lurker but I hope reading these will encourage you to take the step to just try).

 

See you at the dinner table <3