In the fall of 2023, the Westport Library hosted Jennifer Wallace, author of the book Never Enough. Aside from being thoroughly convinced we might all need to move to a dude ranch and raise chickens to escape from the pressures of society, the talk crystalized the importance of deep and powerful connections. Wallace shares that a contributing factor in raising confident children with positive connections to their community is that their parents also have their own community of peers and a handful of deep relationships with other parents who share similar values. 

 

Friendship and social support buffers against the wear and tear of daily stress, lowering anxiety and regulating emotions. Friendship is a gift we give ourselves. Friendship has a deep, healing power that sometimes we didn’t fully appreciate in our twenties, when companionship was so easily found bonding over the midnight antics.  Fast forward to our 30s when many of us have moved to a new town, started raising young families (some in the midst of COVID,)and spend more time working than socializing.

 

Often we spend the vast majority of our time helping our children cultivate their own networks of support and rarely take steps to build our own support system. Who can actually have a meaningful conversation with another mom at a toddler birthday party when the kids are running around with juice boxes spraying everywhere and inevitably someone has too much cake and runs into a wall (cue screaming and fast exit from the party before exchanging phone numbers)?  Where once the majority of our energy was spent galavanting alongside friends from bar to bar, now the time we allocate to our personal life seems to diminish every year.

 

How come we don’t acknowledge how difficult it can be to build a friend network later in life? When we’re younger, events pop up all around us, creating spaces dedicated to finding new friends.  I thought back to the last time I felt like a fish out of water: College orientation. I distinctly remember my university creating meet-ups for students who were new to town or just trying to make new friends.  The school was plopped right in the center of an bustling city so meet-ups often took place at a local restaurant (a rather cheap meal considering the audience... so many Subway sandwiches, ugh).  

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Why can't we try this with women in my town? Initially I put out an informal call on Facebook to see if anyone was interested and poof...40 women were brave enough to raise their hands and say I'd love to join! We had a blast. You know what's the best feeling? When anticipation and nerves give way to laughter. Why did it work? Well, you have to trust that everyone is showing up for the same reasons and with similar values. With their hearts open, trying to find the connections that we all innately crave.

 

We were left asking, what's next? When is the next dinner? And so, The 203 County Dinner Club was born. There's no catch. No fee. No, we don't sell your email to online marketers.  We're just a group of women (now almost 200 local women!) hoping to bring some good into the world as we help others feel more connected to each other.

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